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The Price That Must Be Paid

In my last blog we talked about Buffering.

This time I’d like to talk about the price that must be paid to stop Buffering.

The price of admission to the “Stop Buffering Club” is to basically feel your emotions…ALL of them; the “good” ones and the “bad” ones as well. It’s simple, but not easy. When you stop buffering, you will be left with all the emotions you have tried to avoid. However, the good news is that you will also be ending the negative consequences that have resulted from avoiding your emotions. The obesity, the overdrinking and even the debt from overspending can finally end!

The key to living your life is developing skills to deal with your emotions and to stop buffering. Once you stop buffering and start dealing with your emotions as they arise, your confidence increases, and your well-being improves. You can begin to offer your authentic self to the world. You can let your light shine. You will have more energy to devote to reaching your goals and living your true life.

…. So how exactly do you end buffering?

  • You commit to feeling your feelings.
  • You accept that you will feel uncomfortable.
  • You understand that you will probably feel negative emotions at least 50% of the time and that’s ok. You will actually realize that it very appropriate to feel the negative emotion at times.
  • You realize you will go through withdrawal from the food, shopping etc.
  • You develop the skills to feel the urge to buffer without engaging in the buffering activity. You basically just allow the urge without doing anything. Over time, you will gain confidence and pleasure from not engaging in the buffering activity.

A fun challenge is to keep a list of allowed urges over the next month. See if you can list out 100 instances when you allow the urge to buffer without engaging in the buffering activity. For example, I need to prepare for a complex medical conference at work tomorrow, but suddenly I’m in the kitchen looking at a donut. I was not thinking about that donut before, but now I have to have it. Instead of eating the donut, I just acknowledge that I want the donut and allow that urge for the donut without eating it. Instead I take a moment to see what was triggering my need for a donut and realize I was avoiding preparing for my conference because I did not want to feel anxious. I write down the urge for the donut on my list and go back to preparing for my conference. I’m happy because I did not overeat and I got my work done faster that I would have if I distracted myself with the donut.
Once you give up the false pleasures associated with buffering, then you can experience the true pleasures of living an authentic life. The energy that was used to avoid emotions can now be directed towards completing your life goals.

It’s time to stop buffering and time to discover your true vibrant, authentic life!

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Today I want to share a new concept with you that I recently learned about called Buffering. This concept has revolutionized the way I look at my daily activities!

Buffering is what we do when we use external things to avoid, dampen or block how we feel emotionally.

We hide from negative emotions and our responsibilities by distracting ourselves. We don’t want to face the truth about our lives, so we….

Overeat or overdrink
Excessively shop online or in stores
Watch tv or binge on Netflix series
Maybe we cruise the internet or Facebook for hours at a time

However we choose to distract ourselves, we just need to realize that we are actually engaging in buffering.

Our favorite buffering activities are the ones that result in concentrated pleasure for us. The dopamine response that our brains receives from engaging in these activities is very intense. Buffering keeps giving us pleasure again and again, making it difficult to break the buffering cycle. However, these false pleasures distract us so much that they keep us from really experiencing our true lives. We are meant to experience every aspect of our lives…the good, the bad and the ugly.

Giving up these false pleasures allows us to feel and experience the REAL pleasures of life. Stopping overeating or overdrinking allows our mind to be more alert and our bodies to be healthier. Discontinuing excessive shopping allows us to save money for real experiences such as travel. Or maybe we just experience a sense of peace because we know we can pay our bills.

I’m challenging you all to look at your day to day activities and notice where, when and how you are zoning out. Where does Buffering show up in your life?

Up next…The price that must be paid to stop Buffering…

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Staying Small Helps No One

Staying Small Helps No One

Do you have a dream in your heart? Something that you want to accomplish? A passion that burns within your soul and is bursting to come out into the light? Do you expend so much energy keeping it all inside and staying small because you are afraid of what others might think or maybe you have already labeled that dream impossible? I want you to take a moment to think about your life….REALLY think! Why are you here on this earth? What is your purpose? Were you made to stay small? How can you share your gifts and talents with the world if you are staying small?

Let me step into the light and share a little bit about my life. Right now, I’m a Radiologist by day and a super hero Life Coach by night (and weekends). I love both of my jobs and I’m pretty happy. However, that was not always the case. For years my dream of being a Life Coach was just a little nagging thought in the back of my head. I hardly allowed myself to even think of it and never shared my ideas. I focused upon doing all the right things…working hard, being a mother, paying the bills, saving money for my kids’ college and my retirement. However, the year I turned fifty was a wakeup call for me. I thought, “Sonia, you are officially in the second half of your life. When you are on your deathbed at 100, what do you want to have accomplished? You need to start working on your dreams. It’s now or never!” I decided to step out of the radiology dark room and into the light. I decided it was time to reach for my goals and not be concerned about what others thought. Some people were excited for me and others thought I was crazy. The majority of people did not care either way.

Dr. Wayne Dyer always said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Where ever you are in your life right now, just start. You can start small; you can start big, but just start! First, identify your dream or goal. Next, think of one thing that you can do right now that will bring your closer to achieving your dreams. My first step is starting this blog; getting my ideas out there and making a difference. I look forward to changing, growing and learning in the coming years. The time is now! Go for it!