In my last blog we talked about Buffering.
This time I’d like to talk about the price that must be paid to stop Buffering.
The price of admission to the “Stop Buffering Club” is to basically feel your emotions…ALL of them; the “good” ones and the “bad” ones as well. It’s simple, but not easy. When you stop buffering, you will be left with all the emotions you have tried to avoid. However, the good news is that you will also be ending the negative consequences that have resulted from avoiding your emotions. The obesity, the overdrinking and even the debt from overspending can finally end!
The key to living your life is developing skills to deal with your emotions and to stop buffering. Once you stop buffering and start dealing with your emotions as they arise, your confidence increases, and your well-being improves. You can begin to offer your authentic self to the world. You can let your light shine. You will have more energy to devote to reaching your goals and living your true life.
…. So how exactly do you end buffering?
- You commit to feeling your feelings.
- You accept that you will feel uncomfortable.
- You understand that you will probably feel negative emotions at least 50% of the time and that’s ok. You will actually realize that it very appropriate to feel the negative emotion at times.
- You realize you will go through withdrawal from the food, shopping etc.
- You develop the skills to feel the urge to buffer without engaging in the buffering activity. You basically just allow the urge without doing anything. Over time, you will gain confidence and pleasure from not engaging in the buffering activity.
A fun challenge is to keep a list of allowed urges over the next month. See if you can list out 100 instances when you allow the urge to buffer without engaging in the buffering activity. For example, I need to prepare for a complex medical conference at work tomorrow, but suddenly I’m in the kitchen looking at a donut. I was not thinking about that donut before, but now I have to have it. Instead of eating the donut, I just acknowledge that I want the donut and allow that urge for the donut without eating it. Instead I take a moment to see what was triggering my need for a donut and realize I was avoiding preparing for my conference because I did not want to feel anxious. I write down the urge for the donut on my list and go back to preparing for my conference. I’m happy because I did not overeat and I got my work done faster that I would have if I distracted myself with the donut.
Once you give up the false pleasures associated with buffering, then you can experience the true pleasures of living an authentic life. The energy that was used to avoid emotions can now be directed towards completing your life goals.
It’s time to stop buffering and time to discover your true vibrant, authentic life!